Hi all! Sorry, it's a little long.

The background: I have been practicing solo-poly with a little lean to RA since about June of this year. I currently have one partner (A) who is RA I am dating and am fluid bonded with as an extension of our d/s dynamic. Other than that, I have couple of people who fall more on the "friends with benefits" side. I like a more open/kitchen table style of things. My partners don't HAVE to meet, but it's nice when they want to and I can feel comfortable talking openly. I've been wanting another relationship that's deeply emotional/romantic but without the assumption of relationship escalators. I also don't want to be pregnant/birth children of my own, and am on the fence about how I feel about involvement with a partner's children.

The situation: Been on a couple of dates with new guy (D). He's married, no kids. They previously had an open relationship but now he is looking for a meaningful partner. We get along really well, he has a lot of great qualities that I look for. Honest and calm communicator without holding back, doesn't get worked up about things, patient, straightforward dude. He talks about others in kind ways. Pretty much all of the MOVIES questions aligned well with mine. The first date was great (rare for me) and after we started talking about what we were wanting out of relationships.

The trouble: His end game is a woman who will eventually move in with him and his wife and be fluid bonded only to him and who will bear him at least one child. He's "territorial and competitive" (his words, not mine) and hates the idea that I am bonded to someone other than him. He sees it as A having a privilege that he doesn't. Because of that, he never wants to meet A or really even have me talk about him. He doesn't have necessarily have a problem with my other partners because they don't share that privilege, but isn't crazy about meeting them either. Right now he isn't comfortable sleeping over at my place because he sees it as a betrayal of his marriage - I'm not sure if his wife feels the same way, they are talking about it and supposed to get back to me. After a little pushing, he admitted that unless I moved in with him he wouldn't ever see me as more than "just the girlfriend". Talking, he said he was willing to pursue this relationship because people change - the heavy implication that I would change, not him. As an aside, he's not kinky. It's a more minor thing that could be worked on, but still a little tick on top of everything else.

Even as I type it out I can see these big red flags. But the little bit of RA in me says that it's totally a possible thing that could be really good as long as we both understand there will come a point where we reach an impasse. So what if I stay "just the girlfriend"? I don't have the same end points that he does. I don't feel like I would be wasting my time with him, though he may feel that he did with me when I don't change my mind.

Advice? More questions to ask him to clarify the situation? Yay or Nay voting system?

Thank you <3