Long story short - Happily married, my wife and I will do the odd ‘hotwifing’ (I’m a cuck) for some fun when we’re feeling it. Maybe every other month or something like that. I don’t ‘play’ with other women, she enjoys her time with the guys (mostly single men, mostly a new guy every time) and everything is great. Most of these guys don’t text or call her often, it’s pretty direct on what’s happening between the men and my wife, and after the sex there are normally some texts like... ‘thanks that was fun!’ Or ‘I’ll see you again, maybe’ then we normally don’t hear from the guys for a while, until they are looking to hook up again.

Recently, my wife connected with a man who describes himself as in a poly relationship with his wife. She dates around alone (they don’t play together with other people) and he dates around too.

Well, he was down to see my wife, they had good sex, I was cucked and everything seemed great. Now I know this isn’t a ‘hotwife’ subreddit, but I’m trying to get context on how poly people communicate.

After the sex, this person began texting my wife (totally polite and respectful mind you) quite a bit; asking about dating, his needs for connection, telling my wife he wants to cook for her and seemingly looking for a very intimate experience with her AFTER A ONE, ONE HOUR HANG OUT. He even went as far to ask my wife if she could text him on our upcoming vacation ‘when appropriate’. This made my wife feel a large amount of pressure, he said that ‘seeing her once a month only would be very hard for him’. He was jumping to conclusions and seemed overly excited for just knowing my wife for 72 hours. She explained that to him (he was already filled in with our situation and expectations before hooking up) that she was feeling a sort of pressure from him because he kept asking quite deep and personal questions, and his response was ‘I told you at the start, no pressure!’ Then proceeded to keep saying or asking things that made her feel that way.

Nothing against this guy, seems like a cool dude, but is this just an instance of us wandering into how poly people communicate and we’re not understanding it? Or is this a bit off? We always thought doing our ‘cucking and hotwifing’ fun could be cool with another poly couple to learn from them about how they make something like that work. But it seems like a 0 to 60 situation with this guy.

We don’t want to be turned off of exploring any of our kinks or fun with poly people, but it seems right now that this person attached themselves fast with feelings.

Thoughts? Thanks!