Poly for about 3 years here, have been on a ~8 month dating hiatus focusing on myself as much as I can after a bit of a messed up relationship and, one thing that keeps coming back to me is that I've formed more meaningful platonic relationships as a result of poly (or relationships that otherwise ended up platonic eventually) than meaningful romantic/sexual relationships. And thinking about dating again in the near future, while I do long for romantic and to a lesser extent sexual connections, I find the concept of meeting people I can connect with on a more platonic level more appealing - not that I meet people with a specific idea in mind beyond "These are what my current needs and desires are", just that I perpetually feel like the sorts of relationships I've held on to are those that heavily favor platonic interaction more than romantic or sexual. Which sometimes makes me feel a bit out of place in the poly community, wherein the notable majority of people I've met seem to have a priority on sexual relationships. Which I get, but isn't my priority but I keep meeting people I'm mismatched with on that level - Partially I'm guessing because people are likely to understate their interest in sex in "getting to know you" conversations with relative strangers.

I like sex, I like romantic relationships, but all of the things that are core to enjoying a relationship to me are more closely aligned with close platonic relationships rather than romantic/sexual ones. Does anybody else feel a bit out of place in the poly community when it comes to what you're looking for, and finding yourself invariably meeting people you thought you were aligned with but eventually finding the relationships horribly unbalanced in that regard? I'd be interested to hear your stories, lessons learned, and if nothing else to hear that I'm not the only one out there like this.