Hello everyone!

I am newish to poly. A year ago, I experimented in the lifestyle, and it was....not good. The ladies I partnered with saw poly as just an excuse to fuck a lot of people and not have connection. I came out of the experience flustered and confused.

I met my primary partner on Reddit in October of 2018. She is a wonderful wonderful woman who was new to poly at the time. I connected and I mean really connected with her. I even texted her primary to ensure this was indeed real and not just someone cheating under the guise of the lifestyle. In November, we met face to face for a weekend. In that weekend, we solidified ourselves and it was amazing. We truly meshed physically and emotionally and intellectually and I am grateful for her in my life.

I have since made connections with another couple and that too is amazing. I like sex, don't get me wrong, but sex without connection is just meaningless to me and I just feel empty afterward. With poly, I get what I need. I know I cannot be everything to everyone and I don't feel jealousy when my partners are with others. They will still come back to me. That is incredibly comforting to me.

Now for some sad. I met an amazing amazing woman last week. She was up front and told me she just came out of a marriage and had never been poly. So I explained it all in a four hour phone call. We were meshing. Hard. All my other partners knew. She was even going to see me face to face next weekend.

Was.

I got a long message that she couldn't do it. Any of it. It didn't come as a suprise, per se. I had a feeling. It doesn't dissuade the hurt I feel though. Thankfully I have awesome partners that made sure I processed it all and karaoke to sing it out of me. I am grateful I got to know her and I wish her the best.

Whew. Long winded. Thanks for reading and I'm going to start posting more here.