Hello r/polyamory, I come to you seeking advice as a swinger who I believe has entered into the polyamory world, I think.... Maybe not. I really have no clue.

A little background: My husband and I have been non-mono since we met with having threesomes fairly regularly - all women for ten years. Prior to meeting him I was a 'unicorn' (not a fan of the name but it fits) for a couple in college I was close to as friends but definitely not in a relationship with. I also participated in threesomes as a single woman. Last year, after 10 years of marriage and threesomes we decided to join the swinging lifestyle. We enjoyed this a lot and still do for the most part.

So why I'm here: A few months back we met "Jane". Jane first started out as a unicorn - the three of us went home from the bar together that same night. Unlike all threesomes or foursomes before, we all fell asleep in our bed together and awoke blissfully next to each other. Absolutely nothing weird about it the next morning. From there Jane started hanging out with us alot and eventually moved in with us into a spare bedroom. My husband and I still went on swinger dates and had friends over to play. Sometimes Jane would join in, other times she wouldn't. No issues here or there.

Jane is awesome. We love Jane but that's it. We don't see Jane as anything more than my best friend. Jane, sees this and is "happy" we see it that way. She wants to find a husband and raise a traditional family someday so to her, that's all this is too. We all like that and happy with it.

Okay, so my issue and question: I've never been the jealous type, ever, until, I think, now...

Being swingers we are very much into sex with others. My husband sees a woman he likes and I'm happy for him when he gets to experience her. He feels the same with me and another guy or woman. We feel the same for Jane too. BUT, and this is a big BUT, when she's out with fellow swingers (just swingers, random at the bar, "have fun Jane. Be safe"). With swingers though, I just get annoyed. I feel like they don't respect her even when I know they most certainly do. I find myself feeling possessive for the first time ever in my life. I believe a lot of this stems from knowing how swingers treat unicorns (as just that, a unicorn), and they'll do anything to "get" her. Remember, I was a unicorn and a swinger, I know how this works very well.

Right as I was starting to feel this way, the group we were hanging out with almost exclusively started to become very negative and judgemental of others. We also noticed their recruiting techniques for couples and unicorns and had to get ourselves out of that. It was seeing how they treated Jane for not wanting to be social with them that helped us realize how bad some of them were.

Here I am. I have my second best friend I've ever had (husband being first) and I'm experiencing jealousy and envy with her. But we are not in love, we have no plans to be in love, and we're just besties that sleep together. What weird swinger poly thing is this, if it is?

So, are we a form of poly or am I just an emotional cluster fuck of emotions and feelings?

TYIA