I'm new to the poly life but not to the idea. I've dated 2 people with the potential of seeing other people and it never bothered me that they talked to other people. I've been with my current BF for 4 months now, but we've been friends since our early teens, now thirties. We've agreed to keep our relationship closed for now, while we bond as a couple and explore our own relationship. I spent 10 years married to a very strict and jealous man, and I was jealous myself. But I fell in love with another man and a woman during our marriage, but still also loved my husband. I've loved my BF our whole lives, but I also love someone else, who I'm not with. I absolutely know it's possible to love more than one person, because I have and I do. So WHY is it so freaking hard for me to accept that when we open our relationship, he can be with other people and still love me? Why don't I feel like I'm enough? I just want him to be himself, explore, and be happy. I know he loves me, he always has. He adores me and takes such good care of my heart and protects it with everything he has. When we talk about potential future partners, his main concern is that I'm respected and treated right. So why am I so afraid? What's wrong with me?