This is more of a relationship thing rather a poly thing. I'm posting here because I'm new to using Reddit and haven't found a relationship group/sub/page/whatever that I can trust. Recommendations appreciated.

Also, this is a thing I'll bring up in my next therapy appointment. I'm just curious about how other people handle this in their situations.

I've recently wanted more from my husband and have mentioned it to him over several occasions. I feel like we're living separate lives most of the time. We don't really have anything together. No projects, no activities. The mention of date nights get brought up.

He's been trying real hard and I believe doing his best. My problem is when we do get together for an activity or date, it's often "whatever you want" and that make me feel this is a thing he doesn't want. Is it wrong to feel like he's putting the responsibility on me to plan things out? I've told him many times "You know what I want. I'm very clear about what I want. I want to know more about what you want" and it's a cycle that doesn't really get anywhere.

What I hope to get form therapy is a better way to plan and communicate this to him without making him feel like he's not doing enough.

P.S. I do think living separate lives is not a terrible thing. I'm just wanting a little less of that and something every once in a while to bring us together as a team/partners.