I’m not really sure how to start this but here goes. Kind of long and would appreciate seasoned advice.

I have been married to my husband for almost 4 years and we’ve been open/poly for almost as long. We eloped so I could get health insurance during the worst of the pandemic but had planned to get married since our first few dates. Here we are now finally planning a big celebration to enjoy our love… and many complications have arisen now because of money and our openness. For context: My parents have been helping subsidize our apartment (after essentially bullying us into a place well above our budget) and are now helping pay for the wedding. We thought we would have more help from my in-laws but it’s not there and because of family dynamics I’m also the final of 3 daughters to have a full-blown wedding, despite being the middle born. My parents know we are open and do not approve at all. Which would be whatever if they weren’t now dictating the guest list and other things about the wedding based on their never-communicated budget. They informed me tonight that none of my husband’s partners can be invited because they don’t want to pay for the side pieces essentially (their words, not mine, obviously). And while normally I would say f*ck them we are adults and blah blah blah… it’s really hard to do with such strong strings attached. We’ve already signed contracts so can’t just back out of the wedding venue/catering for something we can afford on our own, and my family dynamics don’t allow for going limited or no contact even once we move out of this building into a cheaper place. Do we just pretend we’ve seen the light and closed the relationship but stay open? My mom is unhinged and mercurial so I doubt she will even remember ranting so hard today that she demanded hubby give her back the family pocket watch she’d given him… but my dad who normally stays out of this stuff (mostly out of convenience for himself) was the one who mentioned not paying for the other partners (all 4 of whom are looooongterm partners) at the wedding reception. So idk what to do.