My partner (m33) and me (f31) opened our relationship a bit more. We both set boundaries and I’ve been really set on maintaining the boundaries my partner has set. Although, my partner has breached a couple of my boundaries a couple times and I’m not sure how else to explain to him the things that make me uncomfortable. For one, I have a pet name boundary, I like to be called a couple specific things which I listed in my boundaries. He hasn’t maintained my boundaries and another boundary he thinks is silly. (I want to be the first good morning text as im still getting use to this and want him just to LET ME KNOW if they are chatting) both of which he doesn’t do for me, either. Are my boundaries too harsh or am I being irrational about having my feelings hurt a bit for him calling someone a name i specifically asked for, for myself? For context we’ve been together 11 years, I do OF and talk to a lot of people and have stayed within his boundaries.

Update: yes I’m aware, even though I had consent from all four parties I shouldn’t have read through the texts where I found the pet name he used. Which was unintentional. He was in the bath and excited to show me a new flirty conversation. We are working it out. We are new. Still learning so please do not come at me like I know everything about poly because I don’t. But I’m here trying to learn and better myself. Please be kind while I figure this new life out. 🩷 thank you all for all help, seriously.

Another update: yes he did agree to not use the pet name. He has said sorry and we are moving forward. There’s no need to attack me for anything at this point if my partner and his metas are fine with what happened. I just wanted to see what a group conclusion would be. Didn’t think I’d be attacked. Thanks. I won’t be deleting this as it might help others in my situation.