Hey everyone, I’ve been dating a poly woman (Rebecca) who has a boyfriend and a husband. We’ve been on three dates, and things have felt amazing—lots of intimacy, holding hands, cuddling, and deep conversations. She casually invited me to a dinner with her Yale friends during our last date, but towards the end of the night, things felt a bit awkward, like she was pulling back emotionally.

The next day, I sent her a sweet follow-up text: “Hey beauty, what’s your Venmo? Shooting you some cash for the drinks. Had such a nice time with you x.”

It’s been over 24 hours, and she hasn’t responded, though she hearted an Instagram story I posted this morning. I know the dinner is happening tonight, but she hasn’t followed up about the invite. I feel she may feel awkward because she mentioned her boyfriend Marshall ‘may be joining’ but wasn’t sure at the time. I wouldn’t want to go if he were there — I’m assuming the silence means he is. But still, why not communicate with me?

Is this just avoidant behavior because she’s overwhelmed, or is this her way of ghosting me? Should I send a short voice note about swinging by tonight, or just stay silent and let her come to me?

**I’m not assuming she is avoidant — she literally told me.

—

Update; I want to send the following

“Is your dinner still happening? I’m at a thing now with my friend Eleanor, but thought we might stop by to say hi later if that works for you. Totally get there are some social dynamics for you to juggle if Marshall’s in town ;) So no pressure at all!”