A little background about the past half year:

-One ex (30 transmasc) dumped me (31 transfemme) in the summer due to no longer being attracted to women after starting HRT. We were in a satellite relationship, but it still sucked.

-In august I started therapy again, which I see every 2-3 weeks. One of the reasons to talk more about my suicidal ideation and another about my social anxiety at parties and the like.

-Start of September my long-term boyfriend (25 ALSO transmasc) dumped me because they were moving away back home to their own mental health issues. (Also my godfather died two days later so it was a doozy of a week)

During all this I've been dating Orange, (25 ALSO transmasc,(I SWEAR this is all coincidental)) since the summer of 2023. We've been seeing each other about once a week or so. sometimes more, sometimes less. Orange still lived with their parents, until start of October this year where they moved into a co-housing.

S considers themselves more of a Relationship Anarchist, and has currently 4 meaningful relationships, including with me. I love them so much. I on the other hand have realized while I'm poly I prefer dating separate people on their own. I don't mind if they talk about other partners, about SFW topics, but I don't really want to hang out with them. This is a boundary that Orange has some issues with as they feel like I'm not happy they've got other partners.

When they started co-housing, we went from seeing each other weekly to me only being able to sleep over at their place twice now in the past two months, and them coming to sleep over tomorrow after work.

This is due to them being way more busy with having to take care of themselves and their household without help of their parents work requiring them to work full-time shifts instead of the part time they originally signed on for.

I get all of that. I understand it too. I try not to hold this towards Orange, and be supportive to them adjusting to their new way of living

But it hurts so much to have the amount of love and attention I've received nosedive this hard.

issue 2: the holidays and other parties this month

Orange is holding a house warming this weekend, where I am planning to go to. I consider it a bit of a trial run, because they want to hold an NYE party with all 4 of their partners their own partners, and close friends of S. This already gives me massive amounts of anxiety, as they know I've got difficulties with these situations (and went home with me to comfort me the last few times I had breakdowns at parties and events)

Tomorrow I'm seeing my therapist in the afternoon, and in the evening Orange is sleeping over and I'm planning to raise these topics.

And after typing all of this out, I realize I should just send this post to my therapist as well, so they're up to date on what I'm struggling with for our session tomorrow