Okay so this is just a vent sand. But if a follow up on a previous tread thank you for the time to read.

So in case no one recalls the previous tread, my ex partner betrayed our agreements and connections basically cheated on me by lying about a person she was having sex sharing all the forms of intimacy we used to.

After everything that happen all the pain, and trauma form her betrayal, I decided to not give up on her, the relationship was always rocky but in the end we loved each other a lot, so I ended up forgiving her and try to move on with now this new person that she cheated on me with as her new partner.

I forgive her but I was and am still hurt by what she did, so I took some time to be careful with my words to explain that I needed her to put the same energy in to this relationship we had, she swore she would but her actions never fell in place, she build more and more distance in between us and I keep feeling like she was just replacing me with this new guy.

I kept going out of my way to please her and give them the space they needed but I could shake the feeling I was not safe and love anymore.

And so today we were supposed to meet for a hike we have been wanting to do for so long, and instead we just ended up talking and realizing we were never going to fill each other’s needs again, she told me her new relationship is everything she ever wanted and the one we shared, was intense was good but she didn’t wanted it anymore.

I was already aware about that so this was to be expected, then she asked for me to still be in her life to be her friend, and just not to disappear, but I litera have no choice, I can’t heal from what she did and be her friend is just too painful at the moment.