My partner and I were good friends for a bit more than half a year before I chose to do my studies abroad. At that time, we were physically close because of activities and creating an emotional bond. We started dating and then I moved on the other side of the planet and long distance has taken a toll on us.

Additionally, my partner had broken up both their long term partner a year before we started dating, but now I am realizing that they were still close during that whole process and in my eyes, not decoupled. My partner feels proud that they are no longer codependent on their ex, but for me I see more and more clearly that their ex are prioritizing over me.

I want a stable, secure, anchor (or primary) partner, but at this moment, I live in fear regarding our relationship. I have brought up things that could help and my feelings to my partner. They validate them, but don’t put in action.

Does anyone have any tips?