40/M here. I've been seeing a poly woman on a very casual basis for over four years. Only recently over the course of the last year have I finally opened myself up to taking another step with her and dating her on a more consistent basis, considering her a partner. She has felt the same. I've always been monogamous and grew up with very traditional family and friends. The idea of polyamory was always quite taboo to me but over time I grew up more, matured more, and realized I was actually ok with it.

So she has two other partners. One of which she got married to just a few months ago. I respect the hell out of both of her relationships and have really developed some serious compersion for her. The one problem I seem to struggle with is her wearing of the wedding/engagement ring when we go out. Call it insecurity or call it the small part of me that still can't wrap my head around every aspect of the poly world completely, but the ring just distracts me sometimes. I can't put my finger on whether it makes me feel like a cuck or if it just makes me a little upset in the sense that I feel "less than" when I'm with her. It's also tough because now that we've reached this new level together where we are going to be dating more, I'd like her to meet my friends one day, and while one close friend is aware of all the details about her, no others (and certainly no family) are aware. Simply put, I’m not out as poly. So, introducing a woman as a girlfriend who’s wearing a wedding ring could just never happen. Does that sound bad?

For all married poly women out there and really any poly expert, I'm curious whats the typical thoughts and feelings about wearing your wedding ring when out with another partner. For what its worth, she DOESN'T consider her married partner (a male, btw) her primary. She considers all her partners equal.