I just need to vent a bit. Please don’t feel the need to tell me how I fucked up and should have done things differently, believe me I know, I just need some support at this point.

I have officially learned the hard way that dating people who are monogamous, even those that say they’re okay with me being poly, is just not worth it. I wish it hadn’t took me 2 hard lessons to learn it, but I’ve always been stubborn. The first guy at least had the courtesy to admit he couldn’t do it very early on while the second one decided to find plan b first. And to be clear in case anyone thinks I’m a hypocrite, I would have been perfectly fine with him deciding to pursue polyamory/nonmonogamy and date other people. The problem is that he didn’t tell me that he still planned to date other people with the possibility of becoming monogamous with them, actively lied to me, and gaslit me into believing it was all in my head when I mentioned that something felt weird between us multiple times over the course of several days.

It was only after I laid all my feelings out on the table so to speak that he finally felt guilty enough to admit he cheated on me even though he didn’t “intend for it to happen”. And while I can’t say for certain because I didn’t ask, I’m going to assume he wasn’t honest with her either because he claims things have already gotten “serious” between them. I also have no idea how long he would have continued to string me along if I hadn’t pushed the issue.

So I’m going to take some time to lick my wounds and going forward I will only be pursuing relationships with people who are poly and are actively not interested in monogamy with me or anyone else.