I’m in a polyamorous relationship with a nesting partner, and I also have one other partner who I see about once a month. Sometimes, I spend time with him and his girlfriend, who I also have feelings for. I’m really happy with this setup and don’t necessarily feel the need to see more people right now.

I occasionally try dating apps and get lots of matches, but I struggle to keep up with the conversations and often find initial chats a bit uninspiring. My partner, on the other hand, has a more active dating life. He has one other partner whom he sees weekly and around four others that he sees less frequently than that. He also goes on first dates occasionally, though not very often.

My nesting partner has assured me he doesn’t see my quieter dating life as a negative thing. He says he values that I focus my own hobbies and things that make me happy and understands that I might not have the time or desire for more dates besides all that. But sometimes I still feel a bit anxious, wondering if, in comparison to the other people he sees, my having fewer partners or dates makes me seem less interesting or valuable as a partner.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Does having a quieter dating life make you feel less valued as a poly partner? I’d love to hear from anyone in a similar situation or with any thoughts on this. Thanks! ❤️