Change my mind. How can you be married and also polyamorous? Marriage itself is a public declaration and entanglement with just ONE person. Society is set up for monogamy only. Marriage benefits couples only. It is impossible to be married and polyamorous. At the very least, you can be married and be very strictly hierarchical poly, but then you may as well acknowledge that you’re in a couple-centered open relationship, not an authentically polyamorous one.

Follow-up question: have any of y’all die-hard non-hierarchical polys out there decided to deescalate your marriage when you encountered these realizations?

EDIT: Thanks for the feedback. I agree that saying marriage is monogamous may be painting with too broad a brush. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that it is impossible to be married and practice non-hierarchical polyamory. Which leads again to my follow-up question: have any of y’all married folks attempting to practice non-hierarchical poly intentionally de-escalated your marriage when you learned about things like couple privilege, how society is set up by and large to benefit married couples to the detriment of other relationships, etc?