Throwaway account.

I’m having a very hard time right now reconciling that I don’t think poly is for me. It’s hard, it makes me uncomfortable and feel insecure. I should just stop and go find a partner to be monogamous with.

But, at the same time, how do you walk away from someone who has been the best for you? I’m not overdramatizing at all. My current poly partner has been the most kind, gentle, loving, communicative, safe, person I have ever been in a relationship with. Add on top how funny, smart, interesting, and genuine he is.

Our relationship structure is not good for me. But he’s good for me. He tells me I deserve more than he can give me, but he’s already gives me so much more than I’ve ever had.

It’s just very hard. I am very sad. I feel like both my options are unappealing.