I've been ENM for 5 years, solo enm for 1 year. Im 36/f with 2 partners, one fwb and one boyfriend. My ex and I opened a previously monogamous relationship so I had a main partner for most of my experience. I'm not sure solo-poly/solo ENM is right for me. In fact, I'm pretty sure it isn't. The issue is, finding a spouse/main partner seems damn near impossible. I've been almost exclusively meeting people who probably forget i exist unless I basically beg them to come over and fuck me. My boyfriend is not like this, but I never feel like i get enough time with him. I get basically leftover time when he's not with his spouse. That's not a him problem, that's 100% a me problem. But, I'm not sure what to do. It seems like there are unlimited men who are monogamous and looking for serious relationships. I don't know if I want to sacrifice my standing as an enm person just so I won't be so alone anymore. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. My question is: should I give up enm so I can have a life partner, or are there poly/enm life partners out there to be had, I just haven't met them yet?