Hello. I'll sum up my situation quickly because relationships are inherently complicated. My husband is polyamorous, and I knew this about him when we were dating and before we got married. I accepted this about him without completely understanding the orientation. Fast-forward a decade, and we opened the marriage. I saw that maintaining a monogamous relationship was eating him up on the inside and that he was numbing himself in order to try to make me happy. I learned a ton about polyamory over the last few years as we have navigated through raging rapids and torrential tornados. What I've discovered about myself is that I'm on the asexual spectrum, so polyamory feels more complicated for me. I am capable of romantic love for more than one person, but I am monogamous when it comes to sex.

I've tried chatting with allosexual poly people, but it seems to lead down roads that I'm not comfortable with. A lot of people don't understand that romance (for me) doesn't include sex. I won't go into any of my horror stories, but it's disheartening. Part of me wants to just be monogamous with my husband and be happy for him that he's living the lifestyle that's authentic to him. Another part of me knows that I'm missing out on the romantic/emotional aspect of relationships. My husband is a wonderful partner, but he doesn't get emotions like I do, and he's not a romantic person. I've tried building platonic friendships with people to see if that provides balance, but it doesn't feel the same as a romantic relationship would. I've heard of situations where one partner is poly and the other is ace, but it seems to end up that the ace person is fine not being polyamorous. I also worry that I'm being selfish in wanting to find a non-sexual romantic partner and that I should just "stay in my lane" of monogamy.

TLDR: Where do you find other asexual polyamorous people?