Partner prefers KTP, whereas I've mostly had experience with parallel. I have enough friends in my life, but I've made an effort to be open-minded and give KTP a try. Partner has a nesting partner/primary, and so do I, although my own primary prefers more parallel. I have hung out one on one with my meta on a few occasions, and it has gone okay, although I probably wouldn't be friends with this person otherwise. We text each other sometimes about fun things/non serious stuff/memes.

There are certain situations when particular types of KTP overlap give me the "ick"...or is it jealousy? Or is it just my underlying desire to do parallel surfacing? I can't tell the difference.

Before I give these examples, I will say that yes - I've shared openly with my partner about these experiences. Their response is that this "shouldn't" be a big deal/isn't something they are bothered by, and they can't really see why it bothers me. Either my partner is being dismissive, or the problem might be...me? Do I just need to be more...chill?

- When my partner and their primary have had a planned hang with me, sometimes this thing happens where the two of them have a side conversation about something I wasn't there for/someone I don't know/something I don't get the reference to, and it makes me feel like an awkward extra wheel. My preference in social situations with more than two people is to make sure everybody feels included. If y'all have known each other 20 years, try to ask the new person questions or talk about subjects they are familiar with.

- Y'all gave me some great advice in the past about this same partner re: taking phone calls from my meta during our dates. This has gotten a bit better, but still happens sometimes.

- Sometimes when I go to pick my partner up or drop them off at their house, they want me to come in and say a quick "hello" to my meta. This inevitably turns into the two of them volleying back and forth about logistics (who's going to feed the cat? did you sign your mother's card? did you get back to so-and-so's text?) while I awkwardly stand there, feeling invisible. My preference would be for those marital logistics to be taken care of ahead of time, since I have limited time with my partner. If you want me to come in and say hello, then say hello and make it about the three of us, not the two of you.

- I'm not sure how other folks define privacy with metas, but sometimes I'll find out that partner has shared more details with my meta than I am comfortable with, such as some of our cute little inside jokes and things.