I have a husband and a boyfriend. Boyfriend is great, BUT. Lots of things.

Do I de-escalate? That feels akin to a breakup.

Do I weather the storm?

I don’t have a ton of spare time (two jobs, small kids, a husband, self-care) so to date others (in addition to boyfriend) doesn’t feel like it would fit right now.

I’m bad at breaking up with people unless things are egregiously bad. I’m trying to think of questions I can ask myself, like: what do I need from this? Am I getting it?

I’m a ridiculously patient person. And boyfriend has been dealing with unemployment for a year, and his spouse has been dealing with his dating success (me) and it’s all been a lot. Life!

I just wonder if I’m selling myself short. I want to be taken on dates. I want to date someone whose partner feels rather ok about me. But it also feels like these things could come in time.

What questions do you ask yourself to get the answers you need? Please and thanks. I really trust the advice from this group and always learn a lot.