Thanks to everyone for their helpful feedback on my last post in here (about my spouse who had broken our agreements re: condom usage and age). Spouse has decided to forego all agreements and continue to have sex with the person the agreements were broken with.

Yes, I think this is shitty. No, it's not easy to just move out of a shared home and divorce someone.

In the meantime, I'm thinking back to many of your comments. If agreements can't be AGREED upon, but I have a BOUNDARY around certain things (like not wanting my spouse to forego condoms on the first date or sleep with people half their age), how do I uphold MY side of the boundary?

I want to uphold my boundary without feeling petty or as though I'm just vengefully punishing my spouse. I want to show respect for myself and not feel as though I'm being walked all over, and hold clear to the original agreements.

He gets to sleep on the couch? He doesn't get access to my body until we come to a mutually agreed upon set of agreements? These sound like smart boundaries, but could also be seen as incredibly petty or as though I'm weaponizing sex in some way.

In addition to this, I haven't met the other person, but I would hate them to feel some kind of way as though I have a personal vendetta against them. I have no idea how aware they are of the boundary breaking, but for now I don't feel supportive of their dating relationship with my spouse. I'm not into vetoes, but...