Im terrible with the official labels with everything so ill do my best. And yes these are fake names. Also future context, Summer (18 NB) lives on the other side of the country and Winter (19F) has been my best friend for 3 years but we started dating a few months ago. I practice Parallel with both relationships. Winter will be the main focus of this one.

I’m very intimate but flexible with my relationships. I love both of my gfs dearly and don’t have a problem with how they prefer their meta relationships as long as I get my time and it’s communicated since they both know my limits as I do theirs. I love hearing about my partners being happy and Winter knows that right now I prefer to take being sexual slowly since I have had some issues in the past with it, so I encourage her even more to seek out people because right now I can only give emotional and romantic love.

And she found our mutual friend, Vana (18F), (Winter is more closer but we’re still friends, I was just at a party with Vana the other night and slept over). For some context, a few years ago, Vana and Winter were in a situationship/had heavy crushes on each other. The reason why it didn’t work out is 1) Vana had a bf at the time, 2) Vana is monogamous, and 3) Vana herself said she sexual wise would not meet Winter’s needs (which back then I hyped her up to still go for it and she never did).

I have no real hard feelings to Vana and although I’m a bit iffy on the dating the friend thing, I’m more hating the fact that these two are severely incompatible and Vana already was crushed that I was dating Winter.

The moment I found out Vana was monogamous and that she was jealous of Winter’s now ex gf back then- I knew that this forbidden crush thing would be tedious.

And just for some more of an insider look, Winter has fuck buddies, has work, and her own LD ‘meta’ (They’re not together but they talk so often that her past relationships have called their relationship ‘emotional cheating’, tho I LOVEEE that meta so much so I don’t care) keeping her preoccupied if shes not with me (which I’m pretty low maintenance myself as long as you communicate). Summer is my less active partner that devotes their time to either me or their games. I love my personal space as well and maintaining friendships and work. It’s overwhelming at times but I make it work.

However in all honesty, I doubt Winter can handle making work, friendships and casual sex relationships, plus 3 parallel relationships (Well me and the meta are kinda KTP but still).

Plus even if the smallest chance they do get together, I doubt Vana understands how casual Winter truly is.

I feel like Vana wants me to spill about how I make Winter work or make polyamory work and I’m annoyed that Winter isn’t solving her relationship but also I don’t know whether to tell Vana the truth about how she’s very incompatible with Winter’s lifestyle or just sit Winter down and tell her to sit Vana down and be HONEST about everything and just officially ask her out or talk to her about relationship boundaries.

I don’t know what to do. What should I say?