I haven't really come across a label that I feel I can truly relate to when it comes to poly. I feel that as soon as I start using a label, every person has a different view of it. I usually just say poly. And even that I feel carries expectations for some people, that I don't feel 100% lines up with what I'm actually putting on the table.

Most of the time, this doesn't bother me. Most of the people I hook up with need a Poly 101 course anyway, so I get to explain how I do it from scratch during that conversation.

I would love to date other more experienced poly people though, but I'm a little worried that my lack of clearly defined labels is going to scare people off if that happens. That I'll seem like a novice when I've actually been at this for seven years, or like I have commitment issues, which isn't the case.

So my question is, when you hear someone hesitate or refuse to put a label on how they do poly, how do you react? Do you consider it a red/yellow flag? If so, is there anything that person can do to reassure you?

Thanks in advance! :)

Edit to add: Thank you for your most insightful inputs! Knowing that we're probably going to define how we do poly more in depth if there's interest, I feel more assured that I can just do as I have done so far. Instead of trying to find the perfect label and explain my definition of it lest I get misunderstood, I'd rather just do me and clue people in as it becomes relevant.