I've been poly in theory with my nesting partner for awhile now, coming on two years, but I've only been in an actual second romantic relationship with someone for about 9 months with my boyfriend, Apple. My relationship with Apple has been generally great so far. Communication is good, he's receptive to establishing new boundaries when needed, takes hinging feedback well, and we have a solid dating cadence that works well for both of us.

The thing that I'm encountering (wouldn't even necessarily call it an "issue" per se) is that I'm sensing that he's losing NRE. I'm not getting as many messages from him and when I do, they're significantly lazier or less cute or thought out. Stuff like just getting a meme sent. Not getting as much excitement from him leading up to our dates. Lower effort dates. The thing is, I'm still in full swing NRE and the decrease that I'm sensing feels bad as a result. It feels that he doesn't "love me as much as I love him." I know that that's a toxic thought not really reflective of the situation, but it does suck to still be feeling NRE but not really having that energy reflected back.

I definitely want to be understanding, he's going through a bit of a tough time with his nesting partner and is working on a new certification at work. I understand that he's got more things on his plate right now and I understand that I won't always be prioritized. It just feels bad. Usually in monogamy, now is the time when our lives would become more entangled and we'd be increasing the energy we'd be putting into our relationship still. I understand why that isn't happening here, we both have other partners we have greater commitments to and other elements of our lives to attend to. It's just counter to the relationship scripts that I'm accustomed to in ways that I find disappointing.