I've been practicing different types of polyamory for about 4 years but have identified as a solopoly person for about 2. I recently had acl surgery that meant I had to have a partner come over to help me to move around and help out with my dog, so my partner of over 2 years came over and stayed with me for 10 days.

First off, major props to my partner for showing up and dealing with all the chaos that was the last week. He was amazing and did all the things that were asked of him and more and I have never felt so cared for or loved.

That being said, this week definitly confirmed that I am a solopoly and have no interest in cohabitating with someone again. For a long time, when I come onto this sub and hear highly emeshed people talk about how much time they have to spend with their nps or all the weird rules they have in opening their relationships it has seemed confusing to me as to why anyone would feel such ownership of another person's time and feelings. But I think this week just confirmed to me that I have a high need for independence and that I really like time by myself, and that's ok. When my partner wanted to chat with his other partner, he would just tell me and then take the dog on a long walk so he could have private time. I never felt at a loss for him making space for everyone in his life.

Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that sopo isn't a "phase", it really can just be the structure that helps you to have loving relationships while maintaining your own independence and love for yourself. Not wanting the full escalator doesn't mean the relationships aren't valid or deeply loving. And being a sopo doesn't mean that you aren't worthy of deeply loving relationships that make time and space for you when you're in need.