I (f44) have been dating Joe (m44) for about 6 months. Joe is really busy and I respect that. Most of our dates have been late night hangs arranged last minute when free time opens up. That said, we recently had two, lovely weekends with lots of time spent together and the relationship is deepening.

My NP expressed that they'd really like to have more notice before dates, if possible. They'd make other plans if they knew I was going to be out. I get it- but it doesn't work well for this other relationship, but I said I would do my best.

I started trying to nail down more exact times with Joe and this unleashed my insecurities. When Joe couldn't come through on what I was asking- I just kept asking. Like no self control. It felt bad. I felt bad. Eventually I said as much to Joe- that I felt really sad that we couldn't seem to set aside any planned time for the two of. This was all over the course of just a week or so.

Joe responded kindly- saying that he misses me but that he has a lot going on and needs to take care of himself and that we should talk about it all in person sometime soon. All very reasonable.

But I feel crappy. I was feeling very secure in this relationship and I just feel like I backtracked on my own development and I'm just awash with insecurity now that this "talk" will result in him saying he doesn't have time for this relationship.

Ugh. Just sad. Thanks for listening.