My partner, B, and I are both sort of new to poly. We have been very open and transparent about any potential dates. However B tends to not do typical dates, but instead likes to make friends and have the openness to include romance.

Recently B met someone, Jax, and they started hanging out. I could tell B was excited, and they made a lot of room in their busy schedule for Jax. I asked B about their feelings towards Jax. They said there is definitely attraction there, but they still don’t know what could develop. They were a little closed about it and reflected back that they want to keep some of their feelings to themself.

They explained they didn’t think of their hang outs as dates, even though they sound like it from the outside. It’s not clear what B had told Jax about us and I feel conflicted because withholding information really activates some trust issues for me. But i respect B’s autonomy and don’t want to pry. I think also since i err on the side of considering things dates if it’s blurry, it feels like maybe we have different orientations to communication. Any advice on how to structure rules that help with this, or people who have navigated something similar?