Just like the title says…I don’t know if I’m misunderstanding something here. For context, my (18F) partner (18-NB)‘s birthday is coming up and I asked what they are doing for their birthday (To clarify, We live on the opposite coast lines and I currently can’t afford to travel especially the hotel costs and rental car costs. So I can’t be there for their birthday and vice versa). So when I ask I’m overjoyed to hear them gush about tickets to a really cool place where one of their favorite small celebrity is and I was hyping them up meeting that celeb and even joked that they should “Get autograph with his number”, and they seemed shocked I would suggest that.

Between me and them, we have no current metas right now. Although I am not 100% sure I’m poly because of the lack of experience; with my bestfriend being poly, knowing dynamics, being secure in my boundaries and communicating. They are the one who told me they were poly first but never the rules, boundary, or anything really besides that they were okay with “Up to two people besides them dating me”- and that was the only thing I got (well besides them reminding me that they get jealous easily but never elaborates).

I just…I don’t know why the responses set off a red flag but it feels like my partner say they’re poly but acts suprise whenever I support them or act poly too. I’m just confused. Am I missing something? They continue to not have any boundary talks with me either so Reddit here I am. How do I approach? How do I try to see what page my partner is even on with this?

I do NOT want to navigate being poly with someone who is not on the same page, willing to communicate, or doesn’t know what they want. But I also love my partner- I just can’t do this one sidedly and with someone who only tells me they get jealous easily as a response to figuring out a boundary. I’m writing this at 5 am with zero sleep so forgive me if my spelling is horrendous LOLLL.