Basically, my 4 year partner has asked to open into a poly relationship. We first started to discuss back in december 2023 (to try to meet sexual needs) but I wasn't interested. We've discussed more in the last 3 months and she is positive she wants this lifestyle. About 2 months ago I agreed to trying and started looking at the literature and listening to podcasts. However, when I try to discuss what her ideal situation looks like I get a lot of I don't knows or it would depend on other people.

I'm still unsure how comfortable I am with this new relationship agreement. I'm trying to do the work but now she's started to set up dates and I feel like everything is happening too fast.

I'm curious how long did other mono to poly people take before you started looking for dates? Especially if one partner had more work to do to unpack mono expectations etc. Any advice would be appreciated.