I'm sure this kind of post has been made before but I'm gonna just go ahead and share what's on my mind because right now I don't think I have anyone to talk to about this.

My (36m) partner (34f) and I have been together a little over six years. We decided from the beginning of the relationship that our relationship would be polyamorous but other than me sleeping with a friend of ours a couple times, we haven't actually engaged with anyone else romantically. We're home bodies and are very happy together but do frequently talk about the idea of dating other people and I think subconsciously reassuring the other that it's still ok, we also talk/joke about on le day finding another person whom we both love and be one happy family.

We've been making an effort to go out more and one of the things we decided to do is go to a local boardgame night where we (but mostly me) made friends with another women, Tara, a little older than I am. Tara and I flirt a lot and I really like her, my partner not so much, she frankly doesn't see what I like about her. A lot of my relationship with my current partner has been built around some very particular ideas that are fairly uncommon and these are sort of her whole personality. Tara does not share these ideals, but I can like someone anyway and Tara is cute in a nerdy way (which I'm really into), she's funny and sweet and I find her really easy to be around.

We've only ever hung out at boardgame night and she is hearing impaired so, though we've had a lot of one on one conversations, which are easier for her as she has to read lips a lot of the time, they've never been too intimate (I don't mean sexual) as I have to speak up when lip reading doesn't work. Though I usually switch to typing things out on my phone and passing it off to her.

I just saw Tara two nights ago and I finally got up the nerve to ask for her number and we agreed we'd "hang out sometime". It's not been made explicit that we are poly but Tara and I flirt with my partner at the same table, so there's that (my partner doesn't mind).

So, now for why I'm even talking about all this. On top of the normal anticipation nerves of "how's this gonna go" with Tara, I'm also nervous because neither my partner nor I have ever actually tried to date anyone else the whole time we've been together; that one friend I slept with, she literally was like, 'that girl is lonely and horny as hell, go take care of that'. I did not object. The three of us met within a week of one another and we were all into each other from the start.

The thing I'm the most nervous about is that my partner will feel threatened or less loved. Tara is very different from her and she might worry that I'm less interested in her or because Tara doesn't share the ideologies that bind us (and I can't over stress that she doesn't) she will feel like I'm not as committed and she will start to drift away from me, which wouldn't be wholly unprecedented.

I know I just need to talk to her about this and I plan to but I think I just need to talk it out a bit first, maybe even typing this all out will be enough, like writing in a journal. My communication skills are not perfected yet though, so I'm just trying to figure out how to go about this conversation. Should I be expecting myself to be able to do this on the fly or is it alright to get my thoughts in order before having this conversation? If I don't think I can do it on the fly, am I prepared to take this next step on my/our poly journey? Am I putting the cart before the horse here? Though I don't know if Tara is poly or interested in this kind of lifestyle, it's probably best I have this kind of conversation with my partner before I end up finding someone else who is anyway, right?

If you've read this far and have anything to share, I'd love to hear it. This is the first person I've met (other than that previously mentioned friend) since my partner and I got together that I've even remotely like enough to want to give it a go with but I am so very in love with and attached to my partner.