Been having some issues personally with my relationship with my wife.

We have been married for several years now. Our relationship has been through alot. When I first meet her she was already dating her girlfriend. To start out my relationship with her gf was great. We were great friends. That changed after her and her husband traveled to come meet me. She didn't like my take on my father and it's been down hill since then. We have basically hated each other since then. I really don't like how she treats her husband and other people in her life. She's just super negative an toxic. That has ruled off onto our relationship in the past with her trying to break us up. I did ask my wife to stop talking with her because of this. Definitely a mistake on my part but I really didn't like the idea of her trying to make our relationship worse. It got to the point my wife was going to leave me entirely. Working through that iv come to the realization that if I don't like the girlfriend that I should probably just leave the relationship entirely as I'm the one that's uncomfortable with it all. The yearly visit to see them hit me the most because I get to just watch them kiss and grope her and deal with it. My wife feels uncomfortable because she doesn't want to leave me alone cuz I'm disabled. However when she takes me she feels uncomfortable because she dosnt want to make her girlfriend or myself jealous or upset. I feel worse about how iv effected her relationship with her girlfriend and feel like I should leave because of that aswell.

Boils down to I'm upset with her dating her gf. Wife's upset if she has to leave her gf so basically I should leave and get over myself. Problem for me is I'm so Dame in love for my wife it's unreal. Like no pedestal cuz she just as rude as her girlfriend. Only difference between them is I'm in love with my wife.

I would like to get over it so I can just be their for her. So iv gone through the steps of evaluating it all through the pollyworld 101 blog and following all the steps. Came down to me feeling like I don't like her gf because she's a 3 and 4 basically just issues with her as a person being toxic. It's been over a year and I still feel the same way. This last vist we didn't even fight. In fact we cuddled a bit. However at the end of it all I still feel like I'm the problem. Definitely have an issue with self confidence but these are things they are telling me straight up. So it kinda feels like my wife just dosnt want to be the person to break it off.

Emotions suck I wish I didn't have any lol