I do not want to hear from people who opened their monogamous relationship!

Asside from the married folx, the common opinion here is to break up. I've never seen anyone suggest relationship counseling on any post, and I've been on here for two years. Has anyone started relationship counseling with one of their partners before?

Tl:dr for context below: I feel resentment about my partner, and the literature seems to say resentment can be treated.

My partner and I both have other partners, we both had other partners when we started dating. I've never been with anyone like her. There's been no emotional extremes, no turbulence, no staying up late thinking about her or missing things because of strong NRE. We share hobbies and values and goals. We deeply understand each others flaws/limitations and communicate effectively about them. We fell in love slowly over five months.

Then our abusive ex came back into the picture. I understand that she's forgiven for her own hurt and wants to be friends, that's her healing journy, but I resent that she cares more about having our ex in her life than she cares about our ex having hurt me.

I initially said I wouldn't break up with her for trying that friendship because I didn't want her to resent me. It came to a breaking point last night when I realized that I resented her. That even if she cuts off our ex she has already hurt me. I broke up with her. But she asked me to sleep on it.

I didn't think resentment was a fixable problem. I thought that either way one of us was going to loose love for the other. I did some googling today and found out that treating resentment is doable though.

I don't want to just break up with her I want to fix things. She wants to fix things.

Have you tried couples counseling in poly? Did it work? Why is the answer here always to end things?