I (43f) have been married to my husband (42m) for 18 years. Poly for 10. My husband and I have not been doing well for a long time and have been platonic for the past 2 years.

I have been in a long distance relationship with Mark (32m) for 3 years. There had been a plan that my husband and child and I would be moving to be closer to Mark, but there have been several obstacles pop up (including my child wanting to finish high school in our current district- 3 more years). I have since decided that I don't want to wait 3 years to be closer to Mark and have been contemplating divorce.

Mark has started dating someone else. This has been making me very insecure and my appetite has significantly decreased. This person that he has been dating for 6 weeks is a potential nesting partner for him.

Mark has been avoidant when talking about my desire to move out there. A friend of mine told me that that was his answer. I confirmed it last night - he doesn't want to nest with me.

I am now in an emotional tailspin. Do I continue this relationship knowing that it means watching him nest with someone else when I so desperately want that, or do I break up with him? Do I break up now to protect myself from seeing that, or do I wait until it happens? Do I bother moving out to his high cost of living city at this point, knowing that I will be alone?

It's probably relevant to note that he and I have chatted non-stop nearly every day and video called for hours every night for 3 years. Him growing a nesting relationship with someone else will necessarily mean a significant reduction in the amount of time I get with him.

My head says to give up now and protect myself. My heart desperately loves him. I feel so alone and so broken right now and could really use some support.

Edit: Yes, I get it - don't abandon my kid, work on myself.