Hey everyone. Newly poly person here seeking advice. Married couple who had been monogamous for about 8 years, then joined the swing LS for a little over 2 years. I travel a lot for work and I encouraged her to find a 3rd to join us and her have the ability to also have him solo to meet her sexual needs when I was gone. A few months ago, I matched with a guy, let's call him Chad. She and Chad started slowly talking. They asked if they could meet solo first, and I felt very comfortable with him, so I said yes. A little over a week later, we ended up all getting together for a MFM 3 some together. They ended up meeting the next 2 weeks solo after that.

Around the 4th of July, I recognized that she was falling for him and she admitted she could see herself falling if given the opportunity. Mind you, I had never been allowed to date solo up to this point, and she insisted that I never ever talk to anyone who's profile said they were poly or open, because she said we were never that. But I encouraged her and wanted her to be happy, and if she felt she was in love with him, then that's ok. She confessed her feelings for him shortly thereafter. Since, I have done the best I can to help try and encourage and ensure they get time together. To include suggesting she go visit him when she's missing him, ensuring that she invited him when she's in his area (we live 2.5 hours from him), and he's stayed at our home a couple times for several days.

I haven't been perfect as it has been hard to go from being an emotionally monogamous relationship to one where my primary partner wants to pretty much have equal time with her new partner and me. I have had some jealousy issues initially and had a hard time going from all our time being our time, and now it's like 60/40. We do have kids, but blended family, and our oldest kids don't live with us except during summers and school breaks. Only our youngest lives with us full-time, and he doesn't know any different. Just that Mom and Chad sleep in his brother's room at times.

Now, less than 2.5 months from first meeting Chad, and 6 weeks from deciding she's poly, she wants to move him in with us (he's a single guy). Additionally, 2 weeks ago she informed me we are no longer in the LS with no discussion.

I am now able to date on my own since the 4th weekend, but only through apps like Feeld or 3fun, and we live in a rural area where there isn't much in the way of options. I'm also a married guy, so I'm essentially below a single guy on the dating scale for anyone.

We are in therapy together to try to work through this, but I see her doing everything she can to seem perfect for him. She acts exactly the same as when she and I first dated, but also does some things that make me question some of her decisions.

What does everyone think? Thanks In advance