I wanted to thank this sub so much for supporting me through two situations that went horrible and left me feeling broken. But by reading your stories I learned maybe I just never want to date a married men again

I (F32) lived through two stories that went really similar...

I really liked the concept after I ended a very unhappy monogamous relationship after 8 years and a toxic, traumatic relationship of 3 months that followed immeadetly after. Thought about how everyone is happy because it's open honest, ethical. Two nesting people that love each other. He is free to date me...single, loving my freedom but sometime in the future going to look for a nesting partner myself. And his wife is free to date other men, that are also free to look for other women that they want to nest with...or to have fun or whatever.

But in reality. Both times. Awful. Such a big mess. Dude blows up my mailbox because he is insecure because of all the other single dudes that are in my mailbox. So I write, there is trust building, he is becoming more secure with every time I write back. With every date. But also impatient because I somehow want to enjoy my freedom and not be available to him with all my time, like his wife. And somehow...because of my freedom and the danger of me slipping away anytime with another dude, he still blows up the mailbox of as many other single women as possible. So now his wife is starting to become insecure and feels neglected. Because he does not spend time with her and instead is either working or writing texts and texts trying to secure at least one or even two single women. So... his security home implodes and he immedeatly jumps into action securing his wife again. So now. There was trust and connections building but I'm becoming insecure. Because I just started to like and trust him. And now he is pulling away. I feel neglected. But tell myself it's ok, his wife comes first...I never wanted to be his wife and he never wanted me to be a second wife. He wanted me as a fun, single, independent women. And I wanted to be that. So I go being that. But now he is back. Because he is insecure again. Because now with him gone I have more time to date other men...

And now I explode because I hate everything. I hate that he wants to have more than one women but is not able to offer enough time for one of them without neglecting the other one. What the hell.