Things have gotten really messy in my polycule dynamic and I'm hoping that I can try and get some advice from anyone who may have ever experienced this or have the same type of dynamic.

For the last year I have been in a troupled partnership with a couple (they've been together for 3 years) our dynamic was very much united most of the time, but I also had a connection individually with each of them.

Like most relationships, we've hit growing pains as we got more invested and involved and long term future talks started to happen. Unfortunately, last week my girlfriend got a little too drunk, and so many truths came out of her. Long story short, she is not in love with me like I am her, and she now suddenly says she does not think she is Poly.

Unfortunately for me, my excitement and love for them both at the start of this, I did not ask the right questions, specifically regarding what would happen it one of them did not want to do this anymore.

My partner and I are broken up and devastated over everything going on. We are very much in love, and he is invested in a future in polyamory and with me. Because both of us blinded ourselves to the idea of her doing this... he does not want to give up, and wants to fight for him and I to proceed forward in the connection and relationship he and I have built separately.

At this time he is fighting so hard trying to get her to compromise. We both love her so much and don't want to hurt her. He doesn't want to have to choose between a life he built with her for the last 3 years, and his want to be polyamorous. I am NOT trying to cause their relationship any damage, or see them fail but I'm hurting so much and I've invested emotionally, physically and financially this last year, I'm willing to make compromises to at the very least not lose him.

His fight for a compromise has been met with her questioning how this would work. She wants to try and at least repair a friendship with me long term. Right now I feel so hurt and taken advantage of by her... but deep down I know she was not just my girlfriend, but also my best friend. Long Term I'd like to heal what's been broken on the friendship side.

But her questions are, how would this look moving forward with him and I still together, and what needs do I have that I'd want to be met.

I guess I'm looking for advice of any kind... I know every poly dynamic is unique, but for anyone who is involved in a "Vee" type polyamory dynamic... I'd love advice and we have questions.

Questions: One of my biggest needs is time with him. But I don't want to be greedy... what is a fair amount of time to ask for?

She's always battled with the idea of him and I doing overnights without her... without her involvement, is it right for me to ask for overnights?

We have so many mutual friends and do a lot of events... how does he go about making sure he is fair to both of us and our feelings around eachother. I am able to handle him showing his love to her around me... but I don't want to be in a situation where he's not allowed to show me affection publicly.

This is all I can think of for now... any advice would be good. Thank you. 💕