So, I wrote a post a while ago about one of my partners being deep into NRE and not having the mental space to give to our relationship the attention and especially the intensity it had before. I got a lot of supporting comments which I am grateful about. I was so sure she was just dealing with NRE and I was running on that, trying to give her space and ask for focus when we were together. In the end we had another talk and she asked me if we could try to take a step back. She says she still loves me but romantically and phisically she doesn't have the space for us right now. What she would like to is de-escalate until she has the space to pick up our relationship again. De-escalation is something we talked about a few times about as a theory for polyamory where from friends you can be lovers and then friends again and who knows maybe lovers again if the stars align. The thing is that at first I reacted awfully, I was hurt and told her I couldn't be just friends, that if I had to go forward I had to cut her off completely. Long story short, I hurt her with that, and regret saying it since I realise she is way too important for me to cut her off completely. Now I am thinking about the de-escalation but I can't picture how that could happen naturally, without feeling weird not kissing when we meet and not being close(which it seems she still wants). What I am saying is that I think I need perspective from people that actually went through a similar situation and what are their experiences. It would help me a lot wrapping my head around it.

Thanks!