My (31F) partner of six months Maple (30NB) broke up with me yesterday over coffee. It came out of nowhere for me, it was shocking. I thought everything was amazing up until last week when they started to act distant. My partner of three years Oak (35M) got along with them so well and they really enjoyed being metas. I was balancing my time betweeen them really well and they both seemed really satisfied with my relationships with them and how I’m caring for them both and meeting their needs and balancing my time with them. They said I was being a good hinge.

A month ago Maple and I went on a trip together to another country and then after our vacation they stayed behind in that country to take care of family matters, since that’s where their family is from. They got back to my city yesterday and broke up with me.

Their reasons: Maple said they were feeling weird the last couple of weeks and they were no longer in love with me and they don’t really want to do the long distance thing since they’re moving back to their city in a few weeks (they were in my city for grad school when we started dating but they’re from a different city that’s eight hours away). They said that they really were head over heels for me and that I was an amazing girlfriend that helped them and supported them immensely but this is just how they feel now and they’ll try to give a better explanation later. They also said they didn’t think some of their needs were being met but couldn’t explain why which ones and didn’t really know which ones. I understand distance but I’m confused how they randomly fell out of love with me in two weeks and how they don’t know if I’m meeting their needs. They said they’re going to think on it this week and give a better explanation because I’m owed one. I am devastated.

Side note: we are nerdy as fuck so we’re going to do the Bajoran rite of separation from Star Trek Deep Space 9 to end the relationship this weekend. lol. I’m looking forward to getting closure from that but still hurting. This is a really hard break up for me. I really loved them and I liked them for years and years since I had a crush on them when we became friends 8 years ago.

I’ve been leaning on Oak a lot for support which feels natural to me but also wrong. Oak says it’s okay though but I don’t know if it’s ethical. Thoughts? Also I could use general opinions on my break up which is confusing to me.