This is not a community quick to judge but I'll ask you not to anyway.

I (54M) just started a relationship with an escort (42F). I'm not paying her and we don't live together. I'm not out to change what she does and honestly she needs the money and she really enjoys it. She's sexy and funny and smart and incredibly attractive to me.

Even taking the escort aspect away, we are way too early in our relationship to be exclusive anyway. I've never been a jealous person even to the point of annoying past girlfriends. We're in a don't ask don't tell approach which is the only thing that makes sense to me.

I am probably 99% mono and I can't see myself dating someone else in addition to her.

Here's why I'm posting: I inevitably I will text her in the late afternoon, then again early evening, and when she hasn't responded later my thick skull realizes that she's out with some guy having sex with him. It's really painful. I signed up for this knowing what I was getting into, it's the reality I'm struggling with.

I want this to work. It's been a LONG time since I found someone I want to be with. I want to be someone who can handle this. Actually I want to be someone who can support her because that's what people in a relationship do.

But I need HELP. How do I handle the hours where I know she's having sex with other men? My mind imagines her going at it while I stare bleakly at my phone. And I am NOT going to talk to her about this. This is my problem, not hers.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated