I' m (30m) my girlfriend is (25f). I started off with all the care and support. For her and what we want. Then my family decided to not respect boundaries about my family not talking with her about thing about the house big conversations confrontational conversations with her without me being present. She told me they were but I was not there to see how bad it was and down played how they were treating her. when it got super bad to the point that my girlfriend got how they were treating her. we fought and she wanted to leave the relationship I asked her not to leave. We will figure it out. At this time I start to get down on myself for not listening to her and that is still a problem today (7 months later) I have a problem with trying to touch her lightly she doesn't like that for trauma but I keep doing it. Most of the time I'm trying to go slow so I don't set her off but she wants firm touch. I have be super depressed and not attentive or a whole lot of empathy for anything in life it's been a problem and still trying to figure out how to fix that. I don't want to lose her but if I don't step up in all aspects of our relationship I will lose her.I have hurt her and now it feels like everything time I open my mouth or turn around I'm setting her off example she asked me to move the dog food and water yesterday and she told me exactly how she wanted it and where. I decided to move the water close to the food but she wanted it in the middle of the towel and barely sitting on it I did a bunch of other stuff and she was watching me do it upset her and she told me that it was weaponizing incompetence. I need any advice would help! thanks Reddit!

We are poly and she has another partner and we fight about my fuck ups and then because we are fighting so much are intimacy has come to a stand still because of me so after 3 day - 7 days without I start looking for some sex and it normally takes place after a argument. She said that I'm hitting on women on Reddit. But I'm just horny and want some satisfaction. But she's mad because we got in an argument and I should be doing other things on Reddit to try to better myself or our relationship.