Okay first off! Me and my gf already discussed how we both wouldn’t mind having other partners and being in a polyamorous relationship already. The only reason why we don’t have other partners we’re seeing is A) We both don’t have enough time to handle more than one relationship B) This is my first EVER relationship and currently don’t feel ready to jump into another relationship and am working on myself for my gf right now 🥹💗 C) We don’t really have any crushes rn so the need to be poly isn’t one of our main interests at the moment. And finally D) It was our 2 month anniversary 2 weeks ago and I fall for people after establishing a bond before falling in love with someone so I want to work on my relationship with my gf right now but have this small desire that I want to ask Reddit for advice on.

My (18F) girlfriend (18NB) have been together for 2 months excluding the month that it took for me to finally be like “Okay I feel like we complete each other, want the same things out of this relationshp, and have established our love languages and needs. This is what I want and I can feel that they want this too.” And bam this has been the happiest 2 months EVERRR, we really are synced, have the same interests, know each other’s family after calls (the mom always asks about me and says good night to me which I adore, and our BIRTHDAYS ARE LITERALLY A DAY APART and agreed on wanting a lot of establishing things blah blah blah (yall if I start going on about my gf I won’t stop cause I’ve already tried to and it turned into 3 love letters that my Grammie is sending me stamps so I can send it to my gf.. To say I’m a romantic and down bad would be an understatement but that’s how much I value relationships especially this one to be my first one.

Anyways, one serious red flag about the relationship is that it’s long distance…like as in 2291 miles away and 3 hours behind from my beloved and guess who’s biggest love language is not just gifts but physical touch? Did you guess it was me? Omg yall are smart cookies 😞. I hate the distance but adore them too much to let it become a wedge in our relationship, I’ve already started saving up to come surprise them and take them to their last prom and use the trip as a early birthday present to the both of us.

But they fear planes, boats/cruises, and I asked them about trains cause I was mapping out possible routes- I can’t remember what was said about that one lol. But still I realized that I’d be the one mainly traveling back and forth which at the moment I can’t due to my expenses and my mom being terrified of me even being a couple hours from her. The only reason the October/operation prom proposal might work is because my cousin (29F) offered to come with me and my cousin and mom are super close.

I feel like I desire physical affection a lot more than I thought because the burden of traveling not only financially but mentally as well (because I sometimes have panic attacks overthinking the feeling of being in the air like that, can you tell I don’t like rollercoasters or heights LOL). I don’t want one at the moment because I don’t have any one I’m interested in and have been giggling too much about my gf rn. But still is there any way that I can make this better or easier?

I know that once we establish rules and things then we can work it out because I know I would rather go broke than to not be able to be there for my gf’s big moments as well as to my other partner if they’d allow me to be there by their side but it…hurts. Not enough to cut off the relationship but enough that I feel bad that I can’t think of a compromise to make it work or a solution that would help.

Now I want to clarify that I wouldn’t be in a short distance relationship just for the physical comfort and for just that love language. I also adore traveling and going places especially over seas and would like to share that with someone. My gf and I even talked about doing road trips with a couple of their friends that I get along with really well with and I LOVED IT.

I just feel guilty that I feel this way because I know they wouldn’t mind and even said it, and I wouldn’t mind either cause 1) I understand the want and 2) cause I feel like I’m into watching as well, I joked that I’m insert my gf’s namesxual/romantic at one point BAHAH. I think I’m just not giving myself a break with this, do you guys have any advice on making it work cause I’m originally delaying even brining it up until we’re in colledge and after a few trips to where my gf is.

Thank you guys for listening to my gf session! Maybe I’ll update with a bf or other gf or partner session in the future, but again thank you and I accept all advices minus very negative or like bashing my gf’s fear of travel cause they can’t help it!!

P.S. I also miss the feeling of irl hangouts or dates, kisses, and hugs stuff like that which is why I’m asking as well!!! My gf already knows I treasure this and they do as well, so this convo might be needed the next time we talk about being polyamorous officially.