I posted about this in nonmonogamy but there have been some interesting chats here recently about hinging so I thought I'd see how folks here might approach this situation.

I (42f) have been seeing my lover (50m) for 2 years, every 2 weeks. When we started out, he was only seeing me aside from his NP (52nb). He had some agreements with them that impacted our relationship, which I accepted...namely, no overnights and use barriers.

Now he has started seeing more people and for them these agreements have disappeared. He's doing overnights with them (which we are now able to do as well), is starting to go barrier free with them, and can be with them at parties. These are all things he has agreed with my meta not to do with me, because we are close. Meta doesn't like there being "feelings" and I'm being told these other relationships are more FWB.

Everytime a new thing opens for everyone but me (most recently it was barrier use), I feel just so shitty undervalued and replaced. I know 50m is deciding this for himself to support insecurities with my meta, but I feel like I'm left doing the emotional labour to support that. What boundaries would folks suggest in this situation?