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last week i (24nb) and my mom(62) had a huge falling out that built up over a months time. i came out to my mom that i was non-binary and polyarmous and i knew my mom wouldn't understand but would still support me, but it turns out it was the opposite. for a month straight my mom and i would have arguments over text, over phone calls. this felt weird because for all my life my mom supported me and helped me with so many major issues in my life.
during this time i never told my partner and my found family what was going on, because i thought i could smooth it over with my mom; it never happened. it was difficult because i felt lonely and i felt genuinely just at a lost of what to do. i ended up telling them basically my mom didn't like the people i was with and didn't like what i was becoming. my found family was understanding and wanted to help, but were hurt because i kept holding on to this hurt to myself.
last week i woke up to my mom texting me and telling me that im the reason why for everything in the family to have gone to shit, and that she hated me. this genuinely made me feel so many emotions and i had a real bad emotional breakdown. i was unable to say what i wanted to say and i kept saying im feeling lonely and unable to just talk about how i felt, but i didnt tell them what my mom said to me. this ended causing my partner to feel pressured and just unable to do anything in this relationship and they broke up with me.
for the last week i been trying to just feel good about everything, finally getting away from my mom and just trying to enjoy the good things in life, but its been so hard. i been having family harass me about what i did to my mom (found she was lying about me), and just having so many just bad things happening to me. its gotten me down to the point where i just cannot cope with anything that makes me feel upset or sad and i break down. i miss being able to say i love my partner and hug and kiss them before they go to work.
i just want a last chance because everything that had happened wasn't easy for me to deal with. i never been to therapy and my family constantly harasses me and makes me feel so much guilt. i know i didnt deserve any of this and it hurts to lost the only relationship i had felt comfortable in.
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- 5 months ago
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