So a little while back this guy (https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/1dtd99w/i_approached_my_partner_and_i_regret_it/) really got my goat 🐐 🐐

I see a particular story played out here and elsewhere on reddit time and time again. Apple has had a happy long term relationship with Banana. But for whatever reason can’t get new juicy fruit off their mind.

What to do? Banana has a lot to offer, and Apple is quite comfortable with that relationship. So they think let’s apply the non-monogamy band-aid 🩹 That’ll fix it for sure, right?

So they skip on over to Banana, who receives the news with as much joy as a cat owner who’s cat has lovingly presented them with a dead bird or the head and tail of a rat left carefully on the end of the bed.

Banana must now either: 1. Decide that Apple just raising the whole thing is reason enough to end the relationship. Exhibit A: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1bm2jsv/my_boyfriend_suggested_a_polyamorous_relationship/ 2. Go along with it temporarily before coming to the realisation that it’s intolerable. Exhibit B: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/155dezc/aita_by_refusing_to_allow_my_gf_to_open_our/ 3. Try to embrace the new polyamorous relationship structure only for it to all go down in flames when Apple realises that they’re actually going to have to watch Banana date and find fulfilling relationships. Exhibit C: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dzmenf/my_husbands_open_marriage_suggestion_backfired_on/

I feel so little sympathy for all the idiot Apples out there. They have chosen to take an empty headed approach to love and relationships where they think first and foremost about how their relationships serve them.

And to every person who’s been in Banana’s shoes I want to say that there are vanishingly few circumstances in which a long term monogamous partner who raises polyamory with you should be given the benefit of the doubt.

If you’re Banana in this situation there are two things to remember: 1. You are under no obligation to try polyamory (https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/sntvv3/dear_monogamous_people_you_do_not_have_to_give/) 2. If your partner places any pressure on you to try polyamory, that’s a good reason to toss them out on their ear. If there’s any pressure for you to give it a try, then you’ve got all the signs you need that your partner is selfish and thoughtless- big signs that the relationship will not work even if you do try polyam. 🚩🚩🚩

I guess I just wanted to post this here so the next time some idiot Apple tries to claim they did a lot of reading here before they tried springing polyamory on their partner, but “oh noes!” I’ll have something to point to and say, “you most definitely did not!”

🐐🐐🐐