It's been a few months since my NP of 2 years and I broke up, see my other posts for context, and my heart still hurts.

I miss the love we had, she was so in love with me and i her. I wanted to talk but she didn't. She spent all her time and energy on the couple she is head over heals for and what was leftover for me to have. How can someone who ask you to marry them and be their person forever just to toss someone to the side and show the world you meant nothing to them.

It will take me years to get over this. It took her hours. I've seen them together and on social media and they are so happy...she's so happy... and it hurts knowing I couldn't give her the amount of love and attention they give her,

Can I be poly again? How can i trust anyone in this lifestyle if all ive had happen was heartbreak, and sadness that makes me wish i was dead. DO I just choose people who see me as expendable and not worthy of their time? I don't know what I want right now but I want to know can I be poly still or should I give up on finding someone who loves me and just be single for the rest of my days?