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Need help from my fellow long distance polyamorous people
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Hey all, I've (36 he/him) been dating this girl (38 she/her) since October. She has a 2 NP's. When Np1 (alias: Bob, 42 he him) is around, it's even odds whether we can hang out spontaneously, which makes total sense to me. But when np 2 (alias: Chuck 40 he him) is around there's pretty much zero opportunity for a quick 10 minute call unless we scheduled multiple days in advance.

Example: if she wakes up before I leave for work, she's usually down to have a video chat. If Chuck has the day off... Nope. If Bob is home it's usually not a problem.

I've tried bringing it up on several occasions, but I don't feel like she gets it or that she understands. Not having that common ground of understanding makes it difficult to understand if the non hierarchical relationship structure we agreed on is being adhered to.

I'm unsure of what I'm looking for, support or advice, but I'm not sure how other other people in LDR's tackle this balance.

I guess that's what I think would help me most, is understanding what that balance looks like for the rest of you.

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Solo Poly LDR

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Posted
5 months ago