Howdy ya'll

I've been talking to a wonderful human here in town for several months, new parent with a baby and newfound disability. I usually aim to meet people in the real within the first month or two as I've had some poor experiences with there not being a spark/connection once met in person after spending too much time just texting.

Said person, as per the title, is a new parent, recently disabled, little to no support system or income, and identifies as a bit ACE, friends first, so I let it go and kept talking to them for quite some time.

Their landlord pulled surprise inspections the other week, I sprung to action and spent an evening helping their partner clean their place, brought over chemicals, and so on. It was my first time meeting them and their partner IRL. In the coming two weeks, I've catsit as the cat is not on the lease, gave a ride to their meta as they were stranded the town over, and currently have the cat.. again, among some other things. Nothing too big that I'd feel dumb if they went no contact, etc.

I'm usually pretty good at protecting my energy and not allowing myself to be used, but it's crept up on me over time and I feel overextended. And it's not like it's intentional or they even specifically asked, I've just been helpful.

It's bothered me a whole lot trying to untangle my emotions this past week as I don't want relationships to be transactional or tit for tat, but it's also throwing me off balance as this person is also ACE and there's absolutely zero flirting or any other expressed interest or energy. It just, hurts, really and I'm dealing with feelings of rejection, even if not intentional, likely they just don't feel attraction - which is hard for me to wrap my mind around. They did mention wanting friendship first, but I must just move faster as several months of talking and I feel closer to someone.

I did ask if they wanted to spend some time together in the next week or two, I've yet to spend a moment with just them - I was met with uncertainty and it was just awkward. I have their cat right now and I'm taking it back early under the guise of having plans for the 4th as I just can't.

We talked and had a bit of a convo, it was alright. I did state that I need to protect my energy moving forward and need to get some quality time as I'm hurting myself at this point before I help out further.

I fear that they have so many bad things happening in their life, like they just totaled out their car today and their landlord is threatening to evict them, that there won't be time or space for anything, anyway, and while I'm working very, very hard to try and understand ACE, it's coming off as simply just not interested, period. For context, we met on Tinder and I'd love to just find some people to go out to dinner with, etc.

Of course, when life keeps giving you turd sandwiches, it's not like you have a foundation to build upon for those higher minded goals anyway, I grew up poor, was homeless before, etc, so I get it.

Usually I have no issues letting people know I'm just no longer interested and moving on, a part of me really wants to do so here, I guess I'm just asking for a sanity check before doing so. I also think that it's okay for me to admit that I'm allosexual and need that in a connection moving forward.