I don't post a lot on reddit, usually I try to search for situations similar to mine and read up on those answers. But I felt a bit lost here.

I have been poly for a few years now. With a bunch of relationships behind my back, and a few currently. And having been trying to improve my mental health and myself in my journey to whats right for me.

A while a go I got Long Covid which had a huge impact on my life, and added difficulty to managing relationships among other things. I have been trying to do the right things, communicate, and put out boundaries. But it sometimes feels drama follows me around. My friends say its because of the people I meet and I trust way too easily and am a people pleaser. But I also feel like my brain just tries to sees a problem in every situation I'm in. Which as a results leaves to me having a lot of emotions about what feels shouldn't be a problem.

Part of this is my neurodiversity, and I am trying to navigate it with therapy and communication. But even so its still very overwhelming. And I'm not sure how to manage the feeling of not having enough brainpower to deal with those emotions.

Why I put this in the polyamory group is because I enjoy having my Polycule and multiple people close to me. But at some points I also feel like it takes so much energy and stress just to maintain the relationships. Because I feel my brain has found a thing to stress about in so many of my relationships. Which can also just be realistic in some cases (I have stayed in unhealthy relationships because I thought it was just me), but at some point I'm just tired of my own brain, and the 16 year old Wattpad writer that seems to be in charge of my life plot.